Wednesday 29 July 2009

Right! Who said it!? Who said Jehovah!?

Rod the mod had given us one and half pills betwen the three of us and they were kickin in big time. Now I take a lot of pills and can quite matter-of-factly rate these as 'very good'. So there we are lying on a patch of wood chip that was put there to prevent munters like us from rolling about in the quagmire that had came about from the previous days downpour. but todays weather was superb, brilliant sun with the slightest breeze to keep you cool. We were about three hundred yards from the main stage and a large numbered ceiligh band were on. I must admit I detest the majority of folk music, but hey, I detest the majority of music anyway so I wasn't too flustered, and yeah, the pills were well under way. I was itching for nonsense. To my right was a small group of kids, maybe 4 or 5 of them and their average age musta been about 6, anyways, they were distracting themselves from the tedious tunes by building mudballs from the easily pliable muck surrounding them on all sides. "aha" i thought "prime comrades for silliness.". "hey!" I called out. A few glanced up but some were far too engrossed in the bog shaping to hear me, "right, here's the deal" i said to those who had heeded my call, "you'v got, right now, a once in a lifetime opportunity to hit me, in the face" I touched my jaw with my extended index finger just to clarify for them "full pelt mind, no holding back". One young chap, about 6 I imagine twisted round and looked at who I assume was his father for some kind of acknowledgment at what was going down but his dad was mid conversation with some other tree hugger and had no idea what I was proposing. The boy looked back at me and his expression was that of mischief. the mudball he had in his left hand he switched to his right and raised his arm at the elbow and made the motion to throw but didn't. I admit I flinched but I was disappointed "honestly it's okay" I reassured him. "I'll explain to your dad I asked for i..."

*CRACK*

Right off my fucking jaw. A belter.

I stood up rather dazed. As I lifted my head, holding my jaw, to congratulate him, I was hit with what can be described as a small boulder of dirt on my right thigh. A little girl, maybe 4, looks like butter wouldn't melt in her mouth had rattled me across the leg with a mound of muck the same size as her head. "hey! wait just a..."

*SCUD*

i had saw this one coming form another lad behind the girl who had previously hit me and manged to turn so it caught me on the back. Laurie and Sarah who I had been sittin with had got up an jumped clear while in hysterics. "Aaargghhh!" I shouted. This got they're parents attention who waded in and grabbed some of them but some were unclaimed who had gathered round me and poured on the hurt. I got up and ran thru the crowd caked in mud and howling with laughter.

I walked past some of them later that day and without hesitating they started shaping mud again. I ran.

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