The first thing i can recall is very large people standing in front and behind me. I then realised that they were not large, I was in fact small, I was a child, and the reason they were stood where they were was because I was in a queue. I leaned over to my right to peer down the line and noticed I was sat upon a red tricycle. As I tilted the trike slightly so as to get a better view I saw Stonehenge far in the distance at the end of the row of people. The people were stood on a perfectly straight gray path which had an endless horizon of neon grass on either side, and the only blip interrupting the view was the famous standing stones which the line I was in was headed for.
I blurted out "No way! Stonehenge" due to the fact that I was quite excited about getting to see it having never been there before. At this outburst some of the people around me became quite vexed and peered down the line at the structures and then I heard a voice exclaim "Is this what we're waiting for? Stonehenge? Sod this" and quite quickly the succession of bodies in front of me dissolved to a fraction of what it was as they left in disappointment at what lay ahead.
Within a few seconds I was amongst the structure of Stonehenge, and subtly the dream structure shifted slightly and I was as I am now, a fully grown adult, and the red tricycle had disappeared to be replaced by my camera. the appearance of my camera was a great joy and immediately I started prowling the grounds hunting for interesting angles. Up until this point nothing that had occurred seemed even slightly strange or skewiff but now I noticed something truly bizarre. Every time I held my camera up to peer through the view finder houses would appear behind the stone structures. When i removed the viewfinder from my eyes they were gone. It was as if looking down the lens of my camera enabled me to see into another dimension where there was a council estate built behind the ruins of Stonehenge.
While I puzzled over this and checked my camera to ensure it was not on a some kind of setting I had yet to encounter my attention was diverted by a man stood near by who was selling ice-cream from a litter bin. He resemble Danny De Vito if Mr.De Vito had a pony tail at the back and was wearing an Armani suit. the bin he was touting his treats from was no ordinary bin either, it reminded me of an American mail box, you know the ones that bombs are left in in action films, they have that large shutter drawer mouth opening on the top to prevent thievery of the mail, well, the De Vito look-a-like had somehow figured out how to outsmart the anti theft design as he could quite easily get his arm in the slot and retrieve ice cream at will, but I then noticed that the selection of ice cream was not within his control because he could not see through the drawer device, only get his arm in and around it. I went over to investigate further and decided the best way to do this nonchalantly would be to join the queue. There were two kids in the queue in front of me and from these being served I learned the system. the first boy handed Danny Armani a pound coin which he quickly pocketed while he stood on tip-toes to get his hand in the mail bin, after a few seconds of noisy rummaging he produced a feast bar, in the wrapper, and perfectly intact. not a bad outcome for the young chap in my opinion, i would be quite happy with a feast bar. The next child, also a boy, handed over his pound coin and the rummaging commenced again. A strawberry cornetto was this time produced from the bin. "My God!" I thought "He's on a role, I cant wait to see what I get." I stepped forward, a beaming grin spread across my face, and pressed the pound coin into his hand. he paused briefly and gave me a slightly concerned, suspicious look. "Fuck!" My brain screamed "hes onto you... but wait, I haven't done anything... or have I... have i somehow unwittingly missed a beat? is there a system I haven't followed?" just as the sweat started to trickle from my forehead Mr.De Vito turned and thrust his hand into the bin. The relief was immense, it was as a great burden had been lifted, I had passed whatever test i had entered. But wait, he didn't take this long thumbling for the ice cream for the others, did he? was i having a panic attack? why is so much resting on me receiving some goddam ice cream? my head... i think it may explode... my cheeks are burning... my forehead will... NO! WAIT! hes got it, he has something, he turns and there in his hand, was a fucking lamb chop. I felt nothing. no shock no anger no disappointment. nothing. I looked at him and he genuinely looked apologetic. he placed one hand on my shoulder and softly said "luck of the draw son... luck of the draw"
I woke myself up with my own laughter.
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